Hilarious Ones …

Hilarious Ones

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.

If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.

Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don’t have & waste an entire day without having a life.

Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like?

Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Don’t let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.

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