Nostalgia

My first birthday of 20 “tag” left me a bit high and dry. I went down on memory lane of my teenage life. A life filled with dreams, aspirations, notions to change the world, lust for learning be it for the facts and figures or of my friends private lives; let me put it in simple words inquisitive attitude, acting like a champ, falling in depression and self harm tendencies (cause of changes in my body).

A life which i loved and loathed the most. It was the time of my life in which i acknowledged the highs and lows, which people get to experience during their later ages. I made friends but i guess, i was too naive to understand the meaning of friendship that time. So, i lost them cause of my impudent, selfish and childish act. 😦 In later half of this teenage life i made some really good friends(college) who came to accept me as i am. But i do miss them somewhere cause they were my friends for about 5 years(school) and i lost them cause of my recklessness.

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Till now i have been living my life on my own accord, picking up fights on trivial stuffs, not giving a damn to anyone’s feelings, taking irrational decisions without giving a second thought and taking everything in a casual way or say easy going way towards life. I have made a resolution starting from today that i’m gonna change myself and my attitude towards everything. I just hope i stick to it and improve myself a bit by bit cause who knows, a small improvement can bring lot of opportunities and open doors in my way and i can’t afford to loose anymore friends now.

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Teenage is the that phase of human life when we come across the reality of the world. It’s the phase where our dreams of living in the perfect paradise are shattered. Some practical teenagers accept the fact and leaves with harmony. But some find it hard to acknowledge and then they rebel. I was the second kind often shutting myself in my room, crying myself to sleep just cause i hated people around me and cursing everyone if you want you can count God in too, loathing myself, slipping a sip or a two of alcoholic drinks , sneaking out of house on odd the hours, bullying someone, listening to heavy metal rocks till my ears can’t take anymore of it and had an eating disorder.

tumblr_m2bhatjmnP1r14pdzo1_500 This is all part of growing up. We all have some kind of deep dark past as a teenager. We must have rebelled in our own way just like James Dean did in his movie named  Rebel without cause.

It’s something off the record, my teenage life wasn’t that outrageous like you guys are thinking i did had my fare share of fun. I had some memorable and cute crushes with some heart wrenching brakes. This is the story every teenager who have gone through this phase or is going through it .

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8 thoughts on “Nostalgia

  1. It is wonderful to realize it at an early age, I totally agree with Lexa. I wish that you never cease the effort to understanding yourself :), it will be the greatest journey in your life!
    kc

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